let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
