You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
