the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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