They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
