very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
