he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
