speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize