I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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