just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
