I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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