I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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