I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
