since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
