This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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