you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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