maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
