Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize