So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
