I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
