you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
