do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
