i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The air was thick with penises
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
