walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He has the fingertips of a God
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
