come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize