Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
