well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
