he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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