Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
