69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
