oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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