Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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