She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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