I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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