his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
