look no pants
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you traded sex for a burrito?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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