no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
