Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
