i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Your cock deserves a montage
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
