We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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