Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
