We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
