Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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