yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
