So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
