gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
