I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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