i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
