Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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