sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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