just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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