A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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