That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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