sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
