My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
