He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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