what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
