You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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