There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
