i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I could make wine with my vomit
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It's official drugs can't kill me
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Randomize