I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
