i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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