Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
